Thursday, July 26, 2012

"you and laura evans"

hey mama.
i'm sorry that it's been a while. there is still so much that i want to say to you, but sometimes i can't seem to find the words, and sometimes i can't seem to find the strength. i find myself saying all the time "i really wish mama was here. she would know what to do."
i want to tell you all about our trip soon, but i think i will do that in my next letter.
today i went to facebook page like i do so often, usually just because it is yours. the "likes" are your likes. the photos are your photos, and the words are your words. its yours. but today i noticed that it had the option to click on something that said "you and laura evans." i obviously clicked it, and when i did, it showed me everything we had ever said to each other on facebook all on one page. i immediately broke into tears. why is it so hard to read the things that you've said to me. you're such an amazing person, when i read your words, i hear your voice, and when that happens the hole in my heart consumes me. i feel as if nothing will ever be right again. i know that sounds dramatic, and i know you know i do have a dramatic side, but i say this with all seriousness. its too big. the loss is too great. and yet, i can't look away. i never want to forget the words that you said to me. any of them.
i miss you more than my simple words can describe. there isn't a day that goes by, that i don't think of you a million times. that i don't think of a million things i wish i could say to you. things i wish i could do with you.
the world is wrong without you in it.
you are and will always be my hero.
all my love.

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