miss you.

hey mama.
i wanted to show you this lovely picture that my beautiful friend Jenna drew of you and me.  she is quite talented. you would love her. she is a wonderful friend. and she's about to have a baby! another thing that you would love about her.

this picture is hanging in my room, and i swear when i look at it, its like looking at a photo of you. it clears my heart and my mind. it makes me feel close to you. i love how perfect she got your hair. it always looked so lovely. you are so beautiful.

i miss you mama. so much. i pick up my phone to call you all the time. i think to myself, "i can't wait to tell mama so and so" and "man, i haven't talked to mama in a while, i should call her." the startling realization that those things won't happen anymore, is often almost more than i can bear.
it makes all the memories even sweeter though. i can't wait to be able to tell elaina all about you and how wonderful and magnificently beautiful you were.
i think about you always.
all my love.