the perfect dress.

hey mama.
i miss you. i'm learning that I never stop thinking about you. all the things i learned from you, and all the things i've done with you. my brain takes me back to all sorts of times with you, all throughout my day. it's songs, or places, sometimes even words. I think constantly in "oh my heck's/"
i was going through some old stuff the other day, and found the dress you bought me for my first high school Christmas dance. i was reminded of that day, in its entirety. you drove me for miles to find a dress and we spent the whole day together just shopping and talking. you were so patient with me trying on everything, and complaining about not being able to find the perfect dress. you told me that we surely would find it, and through my complaining and pushing the budget, you stayed patient and happy, while dealing with a (bratty) teenager. there are so many days like this. made wonderful simply by your presence.

sometimes i feel sad when i think about the fact hat you won't be there on my wedding day. or even to help me pick out my next "perfect" dress.

for now, i will hold onto this dress. and this memory.
all my love.