i was driving down the road today, (when i do all my best thinking), and was struck by the amount of people that will never know you. i can't imagine not having had you in my life, and it seems bizarre and cruel that everyone else wouldn't have you in theirs. maybe this is odd of me to think, but i just can't fathom it. i found myself feeling sorry for everyone who will never know you. this was a new kind of sad for me. my usual sadness is one that comes from thinking of all of the people that loved you and that you loved, that will never see you again. this sadness was strange. an emptiness inside me thinking about everything the strangers missed out on. because you, mama, were the single greatest person i will ever know.
i've had the thoughts that my future friends, and boyfriends, or husband, and children, and Rylee's future wife and children, and Elaina Grace will all never have the pleasure of knowing you. but i have never experienced the deep sense of loss for people i don't even know right now. i don't know if what i am saying makes any sense mama, but i just wanted you to know that all of the people you never met, or all the people that never took the time to get to know you, really missed out.
and don't worry, i full intend to tell the people important to me, all about you.
all my love.